Ahhh the irony.

I remember watching a programme on tv about annoying songs a few years ago and they were talking about that Alanis Morissett's Ironic. Do you remember that song? Basically she sings about different situations and then call them 'ironic'. One of the people in the programme said something like 'why does she keeping saying it's ironic? It's not! Does she even know the meaning of it?' so since then I keep thinking... 'oh is that ironic?' when somethin i judge to be ironic happens. I'm probably wrong, I don't think i'm the best english speaker there is.

Right, so what is this all about? Yesterday was a good day. I visited a friend, took some photographs, it didn't even rain, which is the usual spoiler. So overall, it was a somewhat perfect day... or so i thought. I hopped off the bus one stop before the usual, i felt like taking a couple of photos, but as i walked someone touched my shoulder and said my name. The voice itself gave me the chills, i knew who it was but before i turned i just didn't want to believe it. It was him! The bastard! Yes, THE one. He ruined my day in two seconds.

Grr. It was so... surreal. He spoke to me like nothing has ever happened, invited himself over to mine for a coffee and bragged about how his designing career has been so well that he was travelling a lot because of it. He didn't have a clue i was in Glasgow. OF COURSE NOT... why would he, i wanted to be as far away as possible without having to move too far [ok, that doesn't make much sense] so we never had to see each other again. I didn't say a thing about it tho, i still have some pride left.

So after god knows how long, he finally stopped talking about himself. I wasn't gonna talk about myself [!!!] so there was that horrible horrible silence... which now i wish never ended, cos he suddenly said "I broke up with her and i tried to call you but no one answered, you also never replied my texts." It happened in June! JUNE! I was mugged, my phone stolen and all that. He tried to call me!! Now, this is definitelly some story for Ms Alanis Morissett to write about. Please, Morissett, do reply so we can discuss royalty.

Seriously, all i could say was. 'I hated you and i still do' .... and i did but i don't think i do anymore, but i want to.

It was awkward... when he left i said he shoudn't have followed me when he saw me cos i was well and now i was feeling shit about the whole thing again. He wants to see me again before he leaves tho, i don't. [lies]

Now every feeling is back... just when i was about to let myself go for Kieran [lies]

I want my mom. [lies]

*holds jackie closer*

Tales of 2008

Life has changed last year. I graduated. I moved out. I wrote a zine with a friend. I spent over 6 months without seeing my brother/having sex/eating lectuce. At the sale time, life didn't change at all. I have no job. I still hate a certain someone. I wanted to die over new years because my mom is crazy. I had to let Lucy torments me. I undoubtedly fancy 4 different guys at the same time.

In a way, i feel emotionally the same, despite all the changes. Does that make sense? I wonder if i am addicted to my state of mind. I was speaking to Yan over new years and found out he has a girlfriend now, isn't it great? No, it's not great, cos he sounds like a pervert when he talks about her. Honestly, who in their right mind would date a dentist? She must be insane.

The worse part during new years was when Yan told me i had a cavity. Sounds ok if you don't know him, but i really rather have a stranger for dentist than my brother. He makes the most awkward remarks someone could ever listen to. I'm not gonna say anything because this is my 1st entry on this new shiny blog and I really don't want to start the year as a loser.

What do I want for 2009?

I want popcorn, great films and lenses for Jackie. What? Not happy? Well, I'm a man of simple taste and ambitions. I could say, however, I want the world to be a better place, wars to be over, me to get a job, someone who loves me and piece of mind, it's not that I don't want all that but I really like popcorn.